Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
