me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
