thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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