i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
