I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
