I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
