You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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