Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
so much tequila, so little girl.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize