So drunk its hurt
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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