I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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