With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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