farters have to be the big spoon...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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