Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
