they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i came on her dog
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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