you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize