Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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