I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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