What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize