at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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