So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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