I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
