You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
God, I missed his penis.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize