Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
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