Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
