party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
