I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize