Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
