so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
