Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
