He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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