their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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