They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Panties = found
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