Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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