okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
