Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
