so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
