The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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