Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
