We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
