I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
