I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How external is "for external use only"?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize