u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize