I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
