guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
