Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
