He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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