I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize