I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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