those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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