are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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