my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
