Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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