i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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