THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
