Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm sobbing to NWA
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
