What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
