Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
you never un-have a 4some
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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