a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize