just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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