sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
