margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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