I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
