absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
