I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
