Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
