It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
