Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just pynch a tree in the face
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i drank out of a bidet.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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