if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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