sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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