those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
