well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
